Pulled Under
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Future fic. Deacon hasn't touched a drop of alcohol in years, but there are still days where he gets pulled under and wants to drink. At least he's not alone. Rayna/Deacon


**I don't own Nashville and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

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Deacon hasn't touched a sip of alcohol in years, but there are some days that's all he wants to do. And he'd like to crawl into bed and forget about the world, but it's impossible. And he hates that he feels this way when he's happily married to Rayna and they're parents. He has responsibilities.

So he holds onto the counter and tries to breathe to get through today. He closes his eyes and thinks about what he has. He didn't notice four year old Henry sneak into the kitchen and then leave upon seeing him.

Rayna ran into her son into the hallway. "I thought you were getting a snack, kiddo."

He shrugged. "Is Daddy sick?"

She paused, suddenly worried about her husband. "Why do you ask that?"

"Doesn't look good." And then Henry ran off to his bedroom to go play with his toys (and at least he didn't have to try to keep them away from his sisters).

Rayna walked into the kitchen and her heart broke when she saw Deacon standing there. She walked up to his side and started rubbing his back. "What's wrong, babe?"

"It's just a bad day. I really want to drink," he answered truthfully.

Rayna pulled him in for a hug and refused to let go. "I'm not going to go into work today. I'll send Henry to school and then to Tandy's, and then you and I can just spend the whole day by ourselves, doing whatever we want. How does that sound?" She hoped he accepted her offer. She'd do anything to distract him. And she appreciated his honesty. Deacon still had a hard time opening up to her sometimes, didn't think he was a good husband, uncle, and father. Luckily, therapy was helping him out with those feelings.

"I can do this on my own," Deacon assured her. Honestly, he didn't want to drag his wife down with him today. He wanted to be strong.

"I know you can, but you don't have to." She kissed him and then pulled away. "So, what do you think?"

He really couldn't say no to her and gave in. "Fine, let's go do something to distract me." He just hoped it worked (which her distractions usually did. When he was having a bad day like this a few years ago, she surprised him with the news that she was pregnant).

She clapped her hands. "Great. I'll call Tandy and then we can get going after Henry heads to school." Luckily for both of them, Maddie, Daphne, and Molly (their six year old daughter) were already gone and they didn't have to worry about the girls.

When Henry was gone (despite his protests because he "hated" school), Rayna and Deacon finally headed out for their day of distractions. And they did keep Deacon's mind off any drinking (avoiding bars was a good way to do so), so he was happy about that.

"This is nice," he murmured as they sat down to eat dinner at their favorite restaurant.

Rayna beamed at her husband. "Yeah? How are you feeling?" She knew another bad day was going to happen (they always did and always randomly), but she wasn't going to think about that now. All she wanted to do was help Deacon.

"Better. Thanks for doing this, Ray."

"You don't have to thank me, but you're welcome. You're not alone, Deacon. You don't have to drown in this by yourself. Not anymore." She went back to looking at the menu even though she had already decided what she wanted to eat.

"I love you, Rayna."

"I love you, too." They ordered dinner and went back to talking quietly about their plans for the weekend. They were playing in New York and it was definitely going to be interesting and fun.

When they got home, Rayna called the kids (all four of them, despite the fact that Maddie had made plans to go out with her boyfriend. She quickly cancelled them once she realized Deacon wasn't doing so well) in to watch a movie. Maddie and Daphne sat on the floor, but Molly and Henry snuggled in next to Deacon (at Rayna's urging, but made sure to tell them this out of his earshot).

"You're so warm," Molly murmured. She tried hard to keep her eyes open, but it wasn't exactly an easy task for someone who had worked hard in school all day.

"I love you, Daddy." Henry squeezed his father's hand and then went back to watching the movie.

"I love you, Henry Jaymes Claybourne. You too, Miss Molly. Hell, I love all of you."

"No swearing!"

"Sorry, Molly." He laughed and then turned his attention back to the movie.

The day had started out rather badly for Deacon, but it had steadily improved, thanks to Rayna. He was thrilled that she was still in his life and had given him another chance (one he had to work hard for). Now they were happily married and life couldn't be better (even though he couldn't always see it). With his family by his side, Deacon knew he could do anything. He wasn't a bad person and he wasn't nothing. Rayna, Scarlett, and the kids (and his therapist) had convinced him he was worthy. He was loved and Deacon knew it.

With his family by his side, Deacon Claybourne could do anything he wanted to. He had pulled himself out of the dark pit he had been in after the car accident and proved to himself and others that he was a good man. And no matter how much he wanted to sometimes, because an alcoholic was always an alcoholic, he hadn't drunk anything since the night of that horrible car accident. The bad days were now fewer and far between and that was a good thing. He overcame any obstacle that was thrown at him and made it out the other side better than before. Life was pretty great for him now and Deacon knew it. He wasn't about to lose this life for anything.


End file.
